Date with my DVR

I have a theory about Mondays and Tuesdays. It goes like this:

Everybody whines and whines about Mondays. I love Mondays. By the time Monday rolls around and I get to work, everyone is in such a frenzy to catch up after all the time they lost over the weekend that it's a stunning display of organized chaos, and before you know it's 5o'clock and you're walking out the door. Mondays are a breeze. You can quote me on that.

But Tuesdays? Tuesdays are sly little bastards. I got to work today, checked my email, updated my calendars, listened to my messages, wrote out my to-do list, exchanged witty banter with the co-workers, picked out my playlist for the day, ate a banana, and then glanced over to corner of my computer screen... 

8:09am.

You have GOT TO BE KIDDING ME. 

And that riveting story about sums up my Tuesday. Yes, it was that good. 

But you know what rocks about Tuesdays? Two words: New Girl! Die. SO amazing. I start to twitch with anxiety when they skip a week. It's almost as if the presidential candidates don't care about my weekly dose of Zooey Deschanel. Rude. 

This is true. 

{Running Update: Tonight's run was next to perfect. I somehow managed to shave almost 40 seconds per mile off my  pace. Don't ask me where that energy came from and don't expect it to happen again, but still, it was just the boost encouragement I needed. I'm crossing my fingers and praying that the weather will cool down for good. Please and thank you Jesus.}

Now if you will excuse me I have a date with my DVR, and a fiber one brownie. Please don't be jealous. It's a relationship that is built a mutual love and understanding. We get each other. 

Next time I will be more interesting. Promise.

LOVELOVELOVE!

Nat

PS: Did anyone else snag the T-Swift album yesterday? What do y'all think? I've got some pretty strong opinions currently forming, but I feel like I need to give it a full 24 hours before putting it on blast. 

Setting Goals: I have too much free time.

I don't keep a journal. Primarily because I don't like my handwriting. But one of the main reasons I decided to get back into this thing, is because I need a way to document whatever the hell I've got going on in my life. 

It's been almost a year since I graduated college, and through my careful observance of the real world and the way all these very serious adults conduct themselves, I've decided I need to start setting some goals. Inspirational people are the ones who've set goals, went after them, and achieved them. I've decided I'm going to be one of those people. 

Now, it should be noted that many of my goals are things such as:

• Remember to put on deodorant every morning (Don't you judge me)
• Eat a vegetable a day (I'm still undecided as to whether onion rings count as vegetables)
• Put x-amount of paycheck into savings (For what? I'm not sure, but all the responsible people do it so I'm really just following suit.)
• Limit my trips to Target to only one visit per day (Y'all. I'm not even kidding. Not at all. I'm single-handedly responsible for the vast success of the fabulous red bullseye empire)

You get the picture. But this time I've really gone and done it. I set a big one. 

I'm going to run a half-marathon.

Yes, you read that right. 13.1 miles. For those of you who knew me in high school-or hell, for those of you who knew me last Tuesday, you are aware that I am not an athlete. I once stood directly on home plate while at bat during an intramural softball game. You can't make this stuff up, folks. 

My last year of school, I went on this mini fitness/self-discovery journey where I started working out, eating right, lecturing people about how sodas will kill you, and ultimately lost twenty pounds in about three and a half months. It was during this time that I got into the groove of running. Nothing impressive. I'm not fast, not even a little. And I don't run very far at all, (3.5 is the most I've ever run without stopping) But I just really got into the mental aspect of it. It's so rewarding to go for a run and get that feeling of accomplishment once you're finished. 

So one night, after a few glasses of wine and some blog-stalking, (did y'all know that there are women in this world that run FULL marathons while PREGNANT??!! Yeah, let's talk inspirational) I decided I could do it. I could train, and I could run a half-marathon. So that's what I'm going to do. And the more I publicly broadcast it, the harder it will be for me to back out. So, please, dear sweet Jesus, y'all have to keep me accountable. I'm two weeks into training (haven't missed a day yet). I wanted to be able to document this journey of my insanity, and want all the tips/encouragement/feedback I can get (Calling me a self-destructive moron does count as feedback and I totally welcome it). 

Hugs,

Nat

Let's try this again.

Hello. I know what you're thinking, "Wow, she has really spruced this place up." Well you're right, I have. Quite a feat for me. I don't even want to TRY to explain how computer/internet/blogosphere illiterate I am. Seriously, the amount of time it took me just to figure out how to log in to my blogger account is embarrassing. But the point is- I'M BACK! For real this time. Probably. Maybe. We'll see. 

Hugs,

Nat

She's baaaaaack.

Oh my God I have a blog? Ooops. Man, five months of total neglect. THIS is why I don't have children. That and the fact that they shit all over everything and give you wrinkles.

I just went back and re-read the previous five sentences, and I now realize exactly WHY I haven't been missed in these past five months.

So here are my current options. I could
        a) Give a lengthy and dramatic excuse for why I haven't blogged in five months
        b) NOT and save your tired eyes and my carpal-tunnely hands some time

Basically student teaching was a major biatch that kicked my ask but I survived. And pretty much nothing has changed exceptttttt....I've graduated, and I've moved. Other than that everything is the same. Well, my hair is shorter, and I have a new shower curtain.

I am so boring. Okay, since this post didn't provide any entertainment, I leave you with this.

Sorry for being lame. I'll try again tomorrow.

PSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS: Oh my God I totally forgot The Bachelor started Monday. THAT'S new. Stay tuned for my overly-zealous opinion.

I talk to the TV

Today marks two and a half years of Taylor. 

Fake us

Real us

Tater Tot: I thank God for you every single day. I know half anniversaries don't really count but I'm a girl. Plus it's more exciting than just Wednesday. So here's to having no clue where we are going, or what we are doing in life. Thanks for sticking around this long. I promise it's about to get good :)

Enough of that. I just finished off my hidden stash of pretzel M&M's so I'm pretty shook up about it. In more interesting news, here is your bi-monthly Lizard update:

Either Lizard thinks it's real cool to invite friends over to party, or Lizard is a she and is multiplying rapidly. (I don't know anything about Lizard reproduction/gestation...no actually I'm pretty sure they don't gestate.) Yesterday alone there were three lizard sightings in three separate areas of the home. One was outside but it was disturbingly close to the door so I think technically that's still my turf. The spike in lizard sightings means one thing.

Fuzzy Crocs never leave the feet. 

Lizard-1 , Natalie-0

No, I'm not over it.

Lastly, I love you Bachelor Pad. Vienna and Kasey are PSYCHO and it just makes for the best two hours of Monday night television ever. Literally every time Vienna opened her mouth was followed with a "SHUT UP, PINOCCHIO, YOU ARE COMING OFF STUPID." comment from me to the TV. Glad I was home alone. Will someone please sign me up for The Bachelor so I can get sent home after visiting some really fantastic and tropical location and can then be on the next season of Bachelor Pad with all these crazy psycho skanks?!? I have a new dream. Watch out, MLK. And seriously, someone sign me up. I'm super eligible.

Love & Other Indoor Sports,

Nat

Please Make it Stop: A bunch of scary semi-grown-up stuff that's happening right now.

I know I am literally the world's worst blogger. I also know that I over-use the word literally. But here's what's been going on lately.

• Summer coming to a close. (Which I did NOT okay, but it's almost as if no one cares...)
• Jacklyn getting hitched (CHECK!)
• Getting ready for student teaching (HOLY CRAP WHAT I'M SCARED HELP ME NOW!)

So as you can see I've been very busy/fragile recently so maybe it'll make me more forgivable. 

Well Jacklyn is officially married. It was definitely one of the top weekends of the summer (really only topped by my twenty-first birthday at the beginning of the summer and her bachelorette party last weekend, and that's because those are intended to be crazy-never-spoken-about-again-weekends which are automatically the MOST fun). It was honestly such a beautiful weekend and without going overly after-school-speical on you I have to say being a part of it was just an amazing experience. I feel like this wedding was so special to me. I've lived with Jacklyn for the past two and a half years, and she's become one of my dearest friends. I was also lucky enough to be part of the group that was there for her and Matt's engagement (Check out the GORGEOUS tear-jerking video!) Their day flew by, but it was picture perfect! She was a stunning bride! And I don't have a camera so I'm forced to wait for other people to upload their pictures of the weekend, so until then I'll just give you a couple crappys that I snapped on my phone.  

This is not a good picture, but it DOES show
our dresses and the color scheme and
pretty plates and yada yada.

Happy little couple.

Just lovely lovely lovely. 

Next,

So today I had to wake up at 5:30 because Taylor's been house sitting and that's when he woke up for work and I had to leave when he left cause I didn't have a key (whoaaaa long boring run-on sentence). Anyways, we woke up at 5:30 which was so ungodly early and I was rolling in the sheets around crying "Ohh my gosh NOOOO this sucksssss I hate morningssssssss."  You know all dramatic like. And then I was like, "OH-MY-GOD. One week from today I will be awake at this time BY CHOICE because I have to be at the school by SEVEN!" And then I was freaking out more. This is NOT okay! Here are my real feelings about this: 

I am excited* to start student teaching. However, along with excited* come words such as anxious, terrified, panicked and nervous-wreck. Just to name a few. I met with my cooperating teacher last week, and she's absolutely awesome. Meeting with her definitely calmed me down a little bit. After ten years of teaching first grade, this is her first time teaching fourth, so even though I'll be wayyy out of my comfort zone with big kids, it's nice to know that we'll both be dealing with a lot of new experiences together. And I love kids and I am ready to be back in the classroom setting for sure. But still, I am a girl of many freak-outs. In all honestly, I am nothing short of terrified, slightly traumatized, and I no longer judge people for self-medicating to treat panic attacks cause I'm like 96% sure I've had about fifteen in the past three hours and it's time to get this mess UNDER CONTROL. If there are any readers out there who have been in my shoes before and have any comforting words of wisdom, help please, my sanity is at stake.

The only thing that is keeping me from falling apart right now and maintaining a sense of normalcy is the fact that it's MONDAY which means BACHELOR PAD!!!!!!! Two drama-filled hours. Love it. Also I've been thinking really really vivid thoughts about Chick-fil-a for like a week and a half so I will more than likely treat myself for dinner.

So there you have it. The super grown-up things that have been scaring the mess out of me. (Well, there's nothing grown-up about Bachelor Pad and Chick-fil-a but thats okay.) I have six days left before the real word rudely comes to call, so buy me a drink and drop an encouraging line before I LOSE IT and this becomes my face PERMANENTLY.

Slowly losing my mind. With Style.

No really, I'M FINE!

*Love and Other Indoor Sports,

Nat

*P.S. If you can tell me what Judy Blume book that is from I will name you my soulmate and it will be so impressive. I love Judy Blume.

This is not interesting.

For the five of you who read this, sorry I'm so boring. Oh well.

So today I went to Half-Price Books. Let's just talk about how going into Half-Price Books you will almost certainly encounter some of the weirdest people EVER. Like seriously if you're looking for oddballs head right on over. So naturally this is where I choose to hang out on a hot summers afternoon. You know, to be with my kind. It's like returning to the mothership really. Anyways, while perusing the disorganized shelves of Half-Price Books, I had this mini-life-epiphany. (Cause I'm really smart and these things just come to me sometimes.) Here 'tis:

HELLO. Why can't you judge a book by its cover? Think about it. That cliche makes NO SENSE. Are books not meant to be judged by their covers??! No, I'm not stupid, seriously, just sit back and think about it. I mean, hello! First impression?? If you can't judge a book by its cover then what the hell can you judge it by?!!!???!?!! Alright, let's start from square one. When you're walking around Barnes and Noble (or Half-Price Books, if you have my budget) the thing that makes you pick up the book in the first place is how really fantastically attractive the cover is. So, in combat, I move that we switch the cliche to "Don't judge a book by its title." Cause that's harder. Titles are way harder than covers. It took me like six hours to come up with my blog title and it's still lame with a side of lame sauce. So there.

{Actually now that I think about it maybe I take that whole rant back. Because what if you have a book with a lazy author who doesn't care about having a badass title or cover but they are so brilliant and so the book is really awesome but you NEVER know because it had a hideous cover and a really non-alluring (word?) title.  But it's still awesome. So now I'm second guessing myself. Dang. I'm confused.}

This is why I am a terrible blogger.