Also, I don’t know when I became the girl at work who accepts rotting bananas.
But oh the possibilities.
Y'ALL. Nothing Bundt Cakes favorited one of my tweets yesterday. I can now die happily. This is a huge personal achievement that needs to be celebrated. With perhaps…bundt cake?
Because being retweeted means I get free bundlets for life right? RIGHT!
Haha KIDDING. I totes had to pay for that.
But I would love to be officially sponsored by Nothing Bundt Cake, let me make that clear.
I need you to do whatever it takes in your mind to smoothly transition from bundt cake to bathrooms. Are you good? Ready to move on? Excellent.
Some basic bathroom etiquette needs to be addressed. Y’all already know I’m weird about the big stall. But bathroom noises? Whole other issue. When I find myself on the porcelain throne, the LAST thing I want to hear are your sound effects. Bathrooms are places of solitude. So, in no particular order, the bathroom noises that wig me out the most:
- The MASSIVE/over-exaggerated sigh of relief (and you know exactly what kind of relief I’m talking about).
- The “I can’t get my tight pants unbuttoned” groan. ICK. And also, EW.
- The narration of events to no one in particular. Like when you’re in a stall, and someone comes in, quietly muttering to themselves things like, “Toilet paper, flush, wash my hands…” IM SORRY. Did you need a checklist to remind you of exactly what is supposed to be going on in here?
- Any sounds of consumption. I.e. opening a bag of food, beverage, or gum and consuming it in the bathroom. Edible things do not belong in the same place where people make doo-doo.f
For the record, these rules only apply in public restrooms. None of this applies in my home bathroom. Because I’m allowed to eat French fries and curl my hair at the same time. Moving on.
Following Scott Disick on Instagram was probably the best decision I’ve made all week.
Hands down – my favorite asshole in the ENTIRE world.
Following in a close second is the decision I made to fully engage in happy hour.
I met up with these girls for happy hour and dinner at our favorite place in the entire world.
The objective for our date was to try and convince Allison not to leave to head back to Oregon, but to instead, stay in Texas and live on my couch. Verdict is still out, but I’m pretty sure she’s thinking about it.
Then we SHOPPED. And I tried NOT to buy all the clothes.
I don’t want to talk about how much money I spent, but let’s just say it was a lot for a Wednesday. #WHOOPS
I really love these two.
And then we worked on more blog stuff!
|This is not us working on blog stuff. This is us being best friends.|
I am SO excited to tell you that the new blog will launch MONDAY morning! Mark your calendars, set your alarm clocks – WHATEVER. Just be back here Monday for big news and a giant badass makeover! And a happy dance.
LOVE&(extra)HUGS, cause it’s almost FRIDAY!