Monday, June 16, 2014

A BIG Announcement!

No, I'm not pregnant. Calm down Mom.


Today it is out with the old, and in with the new! From now on, you can find me over at
The new blog has launched! 
That means all the same old shenanigans with a BRAND NEW face. 
So check it out, add me to your blogroll, and continue to keep up with me there! 



Thursday, June 12, 2014

Bundt Cake, Bathroom Etiquette, and Best Friend Dates.

You are going to DIE when you see this video. I mean it, you might actually die.

Also, I don’t know when I became the girl at work who accepts rotting bananas.

But oh the possibilities.

Y'ALL. Nothing Bundt Cakes favorited one of my tweets yesterday. I can now die happily. This is a huge personal achievement that needs to be celebrated. With perhaps…bundt cake?

Because being retweeted means I get free bundlets for life right? RIGHT!

Haha KIDDING. I totes had to pay for that.

But I would love to be officially sponsored by Nothing Bundt Cake, let me make that clear.

I need you to do whatever it takes in your mind to smoothly transition from bundt cake to bathrooms. Are you good? Ready to move on? Excellent.

Some basic bathroom etiquette needs to be addressed. Y’all already know I’m weird about the big stall. But bathroom noises? Whole other issue. When I find myself on the porcelain throne, the LAST thing I want to hear are your sound effects. Bathrooms are places of solitude. So, in no particular order, the bathroom noises that wig me out the most:
  • The MASSIVE/over-exaggerated sigh of relief (and you know exactly what kind of relief I’m talking about).
  • The “I can’t get my tight pants unbuttoned” groan.  ICK. And also, EW.
  • The narration of events to no one in particular. Like when you’re in a stall, and someone comes in, quietly muttering to themselves things like, “Toilet paper, flush, wash my hands…” IM SORRY. Did you need a checklist to remind you of exactly what is supposed to be going on in here?
  • Any sounds of consumption. I.e. opening a bag of food, beverage, or gum and consuming it in the bathroom. Edible things do not belong in the same place where people make doo-doo.f

For the record, these rules only apply in public restrooms. None of this applies in my home bathroom. Because I’m allowed to eat French fries and curl my hair at the same time. Moving on. 

Following Scott Disick on Instagram was probably the best decision I’ve made all week.

Hands down – my favorite asshole in the ENTIRE world.

Following in a close second is the decision I made to fully engage in happy hour.

I met up with these girls for happy hour and dinner at our favorite place in the entire world.

The objective for our date was to try and convince Allison not to leave to head back to Oregon, but to instead, stay in Texas and live on my couch. Verdict is still out, but I’m pretty sure she’s thinking about it.

Then we SHOPPED. And I tried NOT to buy all the clothes.

I don’t want to talk about how much money I spent, but let’s just say it was a lot for a Wednesday. #WHOOPS

I really love these two.

And then we worked on more blog stuff!

This is not us working on blog stuff. This is us being best friends. 
I am SO excited to tell you that the new blog will launch MONDAY morning! Mark your calendars, set your alarm clocks – WHATEVER. Just be back here Monday for big news and a giant badass makeover! And a happy dance.

LOVE&(extra)HUGS, cause it’s almost FRIDAY!


Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Ten Things for Tuesday. Cause alliteration is still cool.

There is absolutely no cohesive flow to my thoughts today. So I've decided to roll with it and shoot it straight at you with Ten Things for Tuesday.

1. I wear a broken $12 Target watch on a regular basis because I like the way it looks on my wrist. #FANCY

What time is it? Hold on, let me check my phone.

2. Tonight my husband emptied the dishwasher and then brought me a glass of cabernet. 

I take back what I said here and here. I think I will keep him. 

3. When a dish is named "Pasta with Bacon and Corn," you immediately drop whatever you are doing and MAKE IT. Don't ask questions. You are wasting valuable bacon/corn consumption time. 

Side note: Taylor did not care for this dinner. I however, enjoyed the crap out of it. 

4. I always have a cup.

Basicaly I really like to transport liquids. Usually it's full of water. 
Sometimes it's full of vodka. Haha - KIDDING. I meant wine. 


5. I don't speak computer. When you say "gig," I have no idea what you are talking about. 

Thanks wikipeda. That really clears things up. 

I am equally as unfamiliar with the terms meg, ram, and "the cloud." So before you start,  just STOP. Before I get even more confused. 

6. I woke up looking like this today. I want to be embarrassed. But it's really pretty funny.

7. But waking up at 4:30 for early morning runs will always be worth it, because this view just can't be beat. 

And neither could this weather.

Running buddies are the bomb-diggity.

8. This song. My heart. 

9. Taylor brought home his gear tonight from work. Y'all, I swear I am not making up. It ACTUALLY says this.



10. Less than one day until the new 2014/2015 Erin Condren Life Planners are for sale! I used the crap out of my last one with wedding planning and just life in general, so I am STOKED to get a new one. 

And that's all I've got today.



Monday, June 9, 2014

Kenny Chesney & bundt cake. Also, did I dream cheat on my husband?

 When I was thirteen, I fell in love with Kenny Chesney.

Recently, he's gotten old. And I don't care much for that. But still, he's wonderful.
Plus, listen to this song without crying. I DARE YOU.

Anyways, last night I had a dream that I was at a house party (super normal) and he walked up to me (don't even ask if he was wearing the cowboy hat, OF COURSE he was wearing the cowboy hat. Dont' be stupid.) and was noticeably upset and stressed out. So I decided to kiss him to help him relax. It worked, and then we fell in love.

For the rest of the dream we were sneaking around the house party making out in various bathrooms. What does this say about me? Well, I'm not sure. I'm not quite sure.

Anyways after the dream, I woke up to the sound of rain. Well technically I woke up to the sound of Taylor getting in the shower, but once I got out of bed I did notice that it was also raining. So, there's that.

Remember when I asked you to take the survey? (Which is still open in case you missed it!) Well, four of you said you want to see less of food talk. Well, JOKES ON YOU! I will NEVER stop talking about food. You'll have to go elsewhere for that nonsense. Cause BREAKFAST.

But for real, I love bagels.

And then all day long I listened to Kenny Chesney on Spotify while I worked. Cause, I want him to know how real it was for me, you know?


This afternoon I had a near panic attack when I realized that my free birthday Nothing Bundt Cake expires TODAY. And I would rather die than have to walk this earth knowing I let a free bundt cake slip through my fingers. So that was my lunch errand.

CRAP. I just realized I haven’t eaten any vegetables yet today. OMG. Oh wait, do guacamole and lettuce on a pulled pork taco count? They are green. For the purpose of this argument, let’s say yes. Phew. That was a close one.

Taylor and I had a few spare hours this weekend so we decided to finally watch The Wolf of Wall Street.

I LOVED IT. I mean, there was a LOT of cocaine in there. But I loved it. OHMYGOSH. The movie, not the cocaine. Cocaine is bad, kids. Really bad. But Leo? Leo is really incredible. 

Taylor’s attention span mirrors that of a four year at Chuck E. Cheese with unlimited game tokens, so he peaced out after about an hour and a half and started playing games on his phone. Which was fine, because that meant I had Leo alllll to myself.

Hahaha. Like, I don’t even care what he’s laughing about.

I don’t remember where I was even going with that. I don’t think I had a point. I just really wanted to find a reason to justify google image searching Leonardo DiCaprio. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.

But as far as Mondays go, this one did not suck. When was the last time Texas saw a sub 80 degree day in June? Answer? Well, you could probably look it up on the internet, but I’m going to go ahead and guess it’s a REALLY LONG TIME.

And you can’t let that go to waste. 3 quick miles before dinner in some pretty decent weather! Can't complain about that. And then I foam rolled, cause I'm trying to be better about that. But crap, it hurts.

Running with Brittany this weekend reminded me we are just five weeks away from El Scorcho! #YIKES

Post run I whipped up some fish tacos courtesy of Mix &Match Mama

They were summer-y and delicious. And, most importantly, crazy easy.

Just me. Cutting onions. Trying not to cry.

There is a huge black hole in my life now that we are all caught up on the Mindy Project and we’re in this weird limbo of being in-between seasons and feeling really purposeless. So to fill that void, I’m 
reading her book. Our lives are eerily similar. Except for the whole massive Hollywood success part. 

She’s kindove my fave.

(Just in case you guys missed it, J. Crew is offering an extra 40% off their sale items right now! It's awesome and I just snatched up another pair of Chino shorts for under $20. WHAT A STEAL. The promo code ends tonight, so if you are a fellow J. Crew lover, check it out!)



Sunday, June 8, 2014

A really stupid idea.

I woke up at 6:45 this morning. For three reasons:

1. Partially because I was hungry. 

It's Sunday, so obviously Chick-Fil-A sounded delicious.

Nothing like a good Kim Jong-un/North Korea joke, am I right? Super tasteful.

2. Partially because Taylor was taking up 83% of the bed.


3. And partially because my throbbing feet were making it impossible to sleep. 

So let's rewind. Because you know sometimes I like to start at the end and work backwards.

Friday was good for the following reasons:

DONUTS, CUPCAKES, & HAPPY HOUR. I didn't take a picture of any of that, but, it was obviously a really healthy day for me.

I had a night to myself, so I chose to spend it cleaning, being best friends with my kindle, watching Legally Blonde, and going to bed at 9pm. #bestnightever

HAHAHAHA. That's funny. For so, so, many reasons.

Saturday morning I woke up at the butt-crack of dawn. What's sad about this is the fact that this was sleeping in an HOUR later than my usual wake up time. Feel sorry for me please. 

Was it worth it? Yes. Because OMG.

We knocked out a friggin' hot 11 miles with solid negative splits and that makes me happy. 

It also helps me justify this. 

Although, when the words "strawberry shmear" are involved, no reason is really needed.

After that I soaked up the rest of my day by taking a three hour nap. 
Haha, no SERIOUSLY, that happened.

The napping was completely necessary because I had to rest up for a CRAZY fun night ahead. 
Because these two got hitched!

UGH. They are so pretty it hurts my eyes. 

Jordan and Morgan are our soulmates and best couple friends. Taylor lived with Jordan all through college and after up until the day we got married. Morgan is his better half and over the past five years the four of us have gotten into lots of adventures/trouble and we love them to PIECES. Their wedding was BEYOND gorgeous. I tried to keep my shit together and cry like a lady. 

(Michael Scott = LADY.)

But it always comes across more like this. 

I am biased, but this guy was definitely my favorite groomsman. 

He poses so well you'd think he was normal. Then you see this, and you think, HMM. Perhaps not.

I also got to hitch a ride and hang out with THIS lovely lady and long-time roommate. 

(Sydney, not a day goes by that I don't consider trading Taylor for you. I miss your clean kitchen.)

Anyways, the wedding was perfect. And their cake was STUNNING. 

I wish I'd remembered to have a piece. 
However I was too busy appreciating the wine/bustin' a move to do so. 

Okay, so back to my stupid idea. Remember how earlier that same day I ran 11 miles? Remember how it was like 400 degrees? Remember how I wore my week old shoes? Remember how I came home with new blisters? And then do you also remember the part where I proceeded to dress up for a wedding and put on 5 inch wedges? Yeah. That was brilliant. 

Y'all. When I am at a wedding, something supernatural happens. 
A song comes on, an urge overwhelms me, and I HAVE TO DANCE. 


The result? Four hours of non-stop dancing. With anyone who would have me. Mostly Sydney, and sometimes Taylor. Well, not completely non-stop. I did take breaks to refill my wine glass and hit up the photo booth. With my husband. And his hulk hand. 

Anyways, I'm still recovering. It will probably be a week or two before I can walk normally again. 
But the wobble and cha-cha slide are ALWAYS worth it. 




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