Saturday, October 27, 2012

Whiners are weiners

Allow me to entertain you before I bore you to death with a list of my current complaints. (BTW-you're welcome.)

I'm loving this running thing. It's the cheapest therapy for the layperson.  Some days I'm all...


Other days not so much. So I'd like to make known my short (ish) list of current complaints as they pertain to the topic:

1. Let's talk about why certain people think it's acceptable to stand uncomfortably close to the trails while SMOKING A MOTHER-TRUCKING CIGARETTE. Those of us that are actually concerned with our health, not to mention gasping for air anyways do not appreciate it. I'm confident that this isn't even legal. Okay confident is not the word. I actually went home and googled it and turns out that it is totally legal but frowned upon by ME. If I catch you doing this I make sure to give you evil-est eye and choke and gag ever so dramatically. When I am at a bar, I expect smoke. When I am trying to enjoy a little bit of nature, I expect the only smell entering my nostrils to be the all natural stench of the Trinity River. So all you smokers take your tobacco somewhere else where it's welcomed (like the the bowling alley) and stop interfering with my run. Kthanksdontchokeonyournastycigonyourwayout.

2. Cold? WTF where did you come from?????!!?!! I was off Friday, so I decided to go run around 1 o'clock. What I did not take into consideration was this:

I never looked it up, but I'm also pretty confident
that the wind was blowing 83 miles per hour. I am not kidding. 

I guess it's a good thing that I got to experience this, because for the next four months this will be what all of my runs are like. Not to mention the race is in February. I'm not sure if y'all remember but this is the one month in Texas when the blizzards usually occur. I should really invest in some pants. And long sleeves. Donations are welcome. I'd also like to discuss something I'd never experienced before, post-cold-weather-run SNOT. I was totes fine while I was running and then when I was done and slowed to a walk the snotgates were opened. This is not a joke. It's a very real and serious problem. I don't really know what I'm supposed to do about this. I already carry pepper spray, a water bottle, and belt for my iphone, someone please tell me where in the hell I'm supposed to carry kleenex. Actually, I could probably stop carrying the pepper spray. Because seriously what rapist/kidnapper is interested in the girl who is is producing a literal snot waterfall. Nevermind problem solved. Thanks guys.

3. This:
I HATE you.
This hill is at the beginning and end of every single run. I really am super pissed because this picture doesn't do it justice AT ALL. It is seriously a straight up 90 degree angle. No joke. I took a protractor to it this week. Really, believe me. It's a beast and I hate it. I'm petitioning to have the hill removed and replaced by an outdoor escalator. You will all be required to sign it. It's a struggle to WALK, not to mention run, or bike. I can confidently say there have been more than one occasion where I have stopped mid-hill on my bike and said "Screw this" and pushed it up that thing as the real bikers pass me up with a condescending "Psstt." I hate them too.

That's probably it. For now. Because I'm cold and I really want to get in bed and watch Grey's Anatomy. I'll do a weekend update tomorrow that will be filled with nothing but positive energy and happy happy things. So brace yourself.



No comments:

Post a Comment


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...