Tuesday, July 16, 2013

The worst week EVER (I'm really not exaggerating)

Well, I'm back...from the dead.

Remember last week when I told you how I was about to have my wisdom teeth taken out and I was absolutely terrified for my life and everyone was like "Oh no you're totally fine it's not that bad at all!"

That's right. If you are one of the ones who told me it "wasn't that bad" we are officially in a fight. You can go away now and come back later with chocolate, money, or shoes because you owe me BIG time. Y'all. That was the worst experience of my whole entire twenty three years of life. I mean, so bad that if I had to do over again, I would tell that dentist to stick it where the sun don't shine because I am keeping my freakin' wisdom teeth. They are in my mouth, that's where God put them, so that's obviously where he intended for them to stay. 

Anyways, Tuesday morning I went in for the surgery, more scared about the IV than anything (I don't do needles). Once the fuzzy "I'm going to pass out" feelings went away, they put me under and I don't remember jack squat. (Also I would like to point out that it is freaky as hell that medical mankind has the ability to knock you out, remove things from your body, and sew you back up without you having any recollection of it whatsoever. I mean seriously-think about it.) They woke me up and walked me into a little recovery area and at the point I obviously wasn't feeling a whole lot of pain. FYI, I participated in a sort of "trial study" for my surgery. I am really broke, and my mom works at a major research hospital/medical school in Dallas that was having a study on pain and pain medication related to oral surgery, so I actually got paid a pretty penny for them to do the surgery, instead of me having to shell out over a thousand bucks out of my own pocket. But as part of the study, they had to observe me for 6 hours immediately following the surgery as they administered the pain meds, and I also had to keep a diary for five days following the procedure. Really it was a pain in my ass. Anyways, all that to say that the first few hours I just hung out in the hospital, drugged up, drinking gatorade, sleeping, and letting the pain set in.

Such a blast.


Once the six hours passed, I got to go home, where I proceeded to pass out into a nauseated pain coma for approximately FIVE DAYS. Please hear me when I say - I am not kidding. The medicine knocked me out cold, and took away my appetite completely. From Tuesday-Friday, I had nothing but a couple cups of applesauce, and lost a grand total of seven pounds. I would sleep in four hour increments, wake up, pop another pill, and go into another coma. On Thursday, I'd planned on seeing Taylor and also my best friend Allison, but I felt so crappy that I told them not to come over. But here is a very entertaining text from Allison (before I told her not to come over) that almost made me smile.

This is a reference to when we lived together in college and she would occasionally come home to find me in an extra hilarious state sipping  non-virgin yellow gatorade out of a straw.  

Friday evening, I finally started to feel a little bit better, and Taylor came to visit me and I had a little bit of macaroni and cheese and some ice cream and we watched a little TV before I passed out again.

Super romantic boyfriend-girlfriend puffy cheek time. 

I know they don't look that bad in this picture, but y'all I SWEAR they were. 
Taylor could NOT stop laughing. 

Anyways, Saturday morning I got a visit from my mom and Mimi, who brought me the greatest present of all, mini-pancakes. Those things were the first bit of food that didn't make me want to puke everywhere, and my appetite finally came back over the weekend. Monday I had to get back to work and today I feel SO much better. My chin and lower lip are still totally numb, which is apparently sorta normal, but the dentist said it should come back on it's own in the next month (yikes?). I still have some pain and am popping ibuprofen all day, but it's bearable and my swelling has almost totally gone away, and my jaw muscles are loosening back up from my 5 day total hibernation. I'm still pretending that I require a "soft foods only" diet though because it allows me to eat delicious meals like this:

But I'd still rather have a burger.

In other really upsetting/traumatic news...

Ugh. Just ugh.

In other, more positive(ish) news, I get to run tomorrow morning! I haven't run in eight days and the fact that I didn't even move for four of them, had two giant subway cookies for dinner, and wore these heels at work today means that my first run in over a week will probably average around a 25 minute mile but that is okay with me as long as I get to do something! I skipped an entire week of marathon training, but that's the one good thing about being in such a long training program, one week won't set me back. I've got an early 4 miles set for tomorrow and I've got my running clothes set out all nice and organized like the psychotic neat freak that I am.

To sum it all up:

I didn't die. I'm glad to be back.I love Adam Levine and Mac&Cheese. 
Pray for me on my run wog tomorrow morning.



1 comment:

  1. HAHAHA this is the funniest post. I'm sorry you had such a bad experience but I can't help but laugh :) Glad you are feeling better!



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