A couple of weekends ago, Taylor and I finally watched Frozen. The hype was pretty much unbearable. And the questions from people who just COULD NOT believe that I (a grown twenty-something with no children, nieces, or nephews) and Taylor (a grown twenty-something dude with no children, nieces, or nephews) had not yet seen Frozen?! The shock! The disgust! The internets abuzz, and posts like this suggest if you haven't seen Frozen, you don't like to smile?! I can assure you, I do like to smile. Smiling's my favorite. I stand firm in my belief that it would’ve been much weirder for us to reply, “OMG, OMG, YES, YES! We were first in line at the theaters on opening day!" Uh, no.
Anyways, we watched it. The verdict? Meh. I dug the snowman, I loved Kristen Bell (what else is new?), and this guy was funny.
But it wasn’t life-changing. And I thought it was a little slow. It was in no way shape or form even comparable to any of the Toy Story movies.
BAHA. LOOK IT'S ME WORKING OUT!
But it did cause me to stop and think about what I was watching as a kid. So for your reading pleasure, I’ve compiled a list of movies from my childhood (AKA, the 90’s) that still haunt me in some way shape or form. Drumroll please:
Never Ending Story
I've got to be honest. I remember nothing about this movie's plot line, but I remember EVERYTHING about the giant flying dog.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO TERRIFIED.
Being trapped in a world of freaky nature phenomena?! NO THANKS.
LITERALLY my worst nightmare.
For those of you that haven't seen it, the Meg Ryan and John Cusack voice chemistry is undeniable.
This movie WILL cause you to be wildly fascinated with anything and everything related to the Romanov dynasty. As it did for me. I mean, it, you'll get lost in it. And just so you know, little girls who are obsessed with Rasputin? NOT cute.
But in general, Anastasia was the perfect combination of funny, creepy, and downright magical.
PS: For the record, Anastasia kicks Frozen’s ASS. I will fight you on this one.
Honey I Shrunk The Kids
And in general, all the "Honey..." movies.
What I want to know is, how did Rick Moranis not get his parental rights taken away after he shrunk the kids the first time????? Honestly. He shrunk the kids, he blew up a kid, and then he went and shrunk HIMSELF. I am beyond confused.
I'd be lying if I said I went a single day without singing "two pickles two pickles" or giving a coworker the "O-tay!" Those moves are beyond classic.
But best of all, this movie taught us that the most effective stress reliever of all time is the little rascals chin wave. Am I right?! Seriously, next time you piss someone off, just give them the ol'...
THEY'LL LOVE IT.
(And My Girl 2 for that matter.)
Oh man, best coming of age films EVER. I own both of these on DVD, and they just make me feel all the things.
And when Thomas J. gets stung by the bees????? OHMYGOSH. OHMYGOSH.
(PS, I wonder if Taylor will let me name our daughter Vada Sultenfuss...)
I don't know who dreamed this plot up, but as an adult, I'd really like to buy that guy a drink. Hey, let's take Robin Williams, give him boobs, a British accent, and make him nanny his own children.
Yeah, that's the beginning of a PERFECT STORYLINE.
Field of Dreams
When I was like nine I had the flu and was stuck in bed for a week. It was at this time that I fell in love with Field of Dreams. And a child in love with Kevin Costner is a weird thing y’all.
IF YOU BUILD IT THEY WILL COME KEVIN. WHY IS THIS SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND?!
And side note 8395879581: I remember the first time Taylor made me watch For the Love of the Game. My expectations were high. Like unreasonably high. Unfortunately, no one appears from a corn field and nothing supernatural happens. I mean, what kind of baseball movie is that??!!
So, that is why, to this day, Field of Dreams > For the Love of the Game.
Whew. Reliving your childhood is exhausting.